Saturday, October 27, 2012

Control Over My World

We all want control in our lives. Whether we are 5 or 55 years old. I am neither of those ages, but I strive for some semblance of control every day. It was obviously easier to control life when it was just Jeff and I. Sure, work (yes, I actually used to work outside the home! some days it feels like a lifetime ago) would give me plenty that I wasn't able to control, but for the most part, I was in control.

Then we decided to add kids to our life. Even before the oldest was born, I realized that I may not be controlling much anymore. (Those of you that are parents understand!) You see, I had my birth plan all written out. I had gone over it with my doctor. I was going to have a natural birth (yep, no drugs!). Many people told me I was crazy, many people applauded my plan. Then, my doctor told me that he recommended a Caesarean Delivery (c-section) based on what they could tell the size on my baby's head and width of "his" shoulders to be. (At this point, we did not know the sex of the baby). Well, there went my plans! And they have been showing me ever since that I can't control everything.

There are days when I have what I think will be really fun days planned, or when I have projects planned, or even cleaning. You guessed it. With the kids, all bets are off. Some days we do what I have planned, some days they want to stay in their pjs all day. That's ok with me. In a world where everyone is looking for control, kids especially, I try to give them control in the ways that I can.

My control over life comes from running. And from (mostly) healthy eating. I know that nine out of ten times, if I go for a run, I will come back feeling refreshed and ready to tackle the day. Or better able to deal with a temper tantrum. Or just have more energy to deal with life. I typically know what to expect from running. It's just one foot in front of the other until I reach my house or car again. I control how far I run. I control how fast I run. I control the foods that I eat, and the pounds that I gain or lose.

It's taken me a long time to get to this point with food. I've always had such an unhealthy relationship with it and I'm finally getting to the point that I realize it's nobody's fault but mine when I gain a few pounds. Currently, I am in control of my eating habits and am losing the extra pounds that I added when I decided I didn't care. Yeah, I did care and it upset me; frankly, I got lazy. I was tired of making the right choices. I was tired of picking the healthier option. And once I got out of the habit, it was SO easy to keep going. Until I stepped on the scale and realized it was my own fault. So, I'm working on it and am happy with the results.

When I have a rough day and life feels like it's out of control, I turn to sweating. If I can't get out for a run, I've been searching out short YouTube workouts to give me a little more energy, to get the endorphins flowing. It also keeps me out of the cookie jar. This one is my current favorites:  


It has taken me a long time to learn how to regain control over my life and some days are MUCH easier than others. But, I feel better when I don't give in to the chaos and I do something for myself. And we all know that Happy Mama=Happy Family!

What do you do when you feel like you have no control over your life? Or do you usually feel in control? What's your secret?

2 comments:

  1. Man, I can totally relate. I'm a mom running from chaos. LOL I've struggled with my weight too and running has definitely been my "magic pill" so to speak to keep the weight off and help turn back the clock. It also keeps me sane. No matter what I'm going through, I running always helps me clear my head and face whatever is happening.

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  2. Glad you found something that works for you, Denise!

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